


Until It's Gone

by 100xoverfest



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Sexual Content, Swearing, alcohol use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 12:22:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8532934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/100xoverfest/pseuds/100xoverfest
Summary: Junmyeon is as broke as one could get. Right when Junmyeon loses everything he has ever had, and is on the verge of crossing his moral boundaries just to survive, he meets Kris. Befriending the café owner may be the best thing that has ever happened to him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the mods for hosting the fest and for their patience, to the prompter, and to the friend who was kind enough to proofread for me!
> 
> written by: vicaniyun

Winter had always been his least favorite season. He hated the chilled air that dried his skin and made goosebumps prickle down his limbs. He was not a fan of chapped lips or violently shivering as he struggled to maintain warmth. He detested how, without fail, he somehow managed to fall violently sick every single year once the cold made its presence known.

But this winter, the only thing on Junmyeon’s mind was the ever-growing worry about how he was possibly going to survive.

* * *

Junmyeon was certain that if someone was to look up the definition of ‘broke’ in the dictionary, there would be his name, a simplistic _Kim Junmyeon_ stamped upon the pages. It wasn’t Junmyeon’s first time facing financial problems, but this _was_ the first time it had gotten so severe.

Junmyeon had not been born with a silver spoon in his mouth to begin with; he had long ago grown accustomed to a life of budgets and limited spending as his parents stretched their paychecks to keep themselves afloat. But when he had lived with his parent, even though money was tight, Junmyeon was never too worried. They had a roof over their heads, with running water and electricity and enough food to keep away hunger.

Life was not like that anymore.

Junmyeon often wished that he could turn back time. He and his parents had always been filled with disagreements, but at least when he lived with them, he wasn’t stuck struggling to make ends meet. He could go crawling back to them, but Junmyeon already knew that they would not accept him back into their lives. He was dead to them now, and Junmyeon had learned that long ago when his phone calls and emails and handwritten letters had gone unanswered.

His first clue had been three years ago when he was eighteen, standing on the front porch with a backpack and a suitcase clutched in each hand.

_“If this is the lifestyle you want to live, parading around and dating other men,” his father snarled, “then I expect for you to keep your filthy lifestyle out of this household, and to never come back.”_

_The last thing Junmyeon saw were tears, perhaps those of regret, shining in his mother’s eyes before the door slammed shut in his face._

He thought it was best at the time to follow his heart. Junmyeon had been in love, so overwhelmed in emotions that he failed to stop and mull over the bigger picture. He threw away his family and everything he had ever known the moment he decided that he was going to stay with his boyfriend. And even when Junmyeon had sobbed as he clambered into his lover’s car, idling outside his parents’ home, he had no regrets.

He had no reason to regret his actions back then. Life was a little rocky, but overall, Junmyeon was satisfied. He and his boyfriend found a little one bedroom apartment and lived together, working various jobs to pay their bills. And for a while, things were okay. They were making ends meet, and better yet, they were both finally _happy._

Life fell apart for him last winter.

It was a slow destruction, piece by piece rotting away little by little. Money was one of the biggest fuels for the fire, because as emergencies began to appear, their comfortable safety net began to fade, along with their savings. His boyfriend’s car broke down and repairs were costly. Junmyeon, with an immune system that had been extremely weak ever since he was a baby, fell ill. He was forced to call out of work for several days as he became sick, and their income for the month dropped. When his health only plummeted further, plaguing him with chest tightness and vomiting and a fever so high he nearly died, Junmyeon had no choice but to cough up the money to see a doctor. The fact that they did not have insurance meant that the cost of a hospital visit was sky-high, not to mention that Junmyeon had to get a prescription filled. From there, things only grew worse. His boyfriend lost his job. And the world around them crumbled.

The money they had to spill for medical reasons and various repairs created dents in their bank accounts that they just couldn’t bounce back from. The bills grew, and the two of them were struggling to keep their heads above water. Money in their household became tighter and tighter, and their relationship became more and more strained. They argued over finances and blamed one another for their downfall. The hazy happiness that Junmyeon had fallen into two years prior was gone. And apparently, the rose-tinted glass before his boyfriend’s eyes had shattered long ago. It only took Junmyeon catching his lover in bed with another man, a few days later after a vicious argument, to realize it.

He cut the cord immediately, once more throwing away the life he knew. And yes, it stung. Of _course_ it did, to move into a new studio apartment with only his name on the lease and bills. It did not feel like home when he sank down into his favorite leather armchair that he had smuggled out of their old place.

But Junmyeon did not dare cry, and giving up was the last thing on his mind. It was tough, horribly so, and Junmyeon was stretched so thin between tight budgets and long hours to try to rake in extra cash that he felt as if he was a rubber band pulled too taut, ready to snap at any second. But it was what he had to do to survive, and Junmyeon accepted it.

And yet, it was as if no matter how hard he worked, it just wasn’t good enough. Junmyeon downgraded his apartment twice since then. The square footage shrunk and the neighborhoods around him grew seedier. He had no choice; rent was too expensive, not to mention the incoming bills for electricity and water and the simple fact that he had to eat to survive. Junmyeon no longer owned a standard cellphone. He couldn’t afford the data plan. He had a prepaid one with no internet service and a limited number of minutes, just in case of an emergency where he needed to make a call. What few belongings he owned began to vanish, sold for extra cash. His work hours grew longer, and Junmyeon grew more exhausted by the day. But even with the lengthy hours contributing to his paycheck, it just wasn’t enough. No matter how he pulled the strings, it did not matter. His retail job simply did not pay enough for him to live upon it.

Junmyeon had figured that out months ago, and it was on his mind as he stumbled into his apartment after work. His eyelids were immensely heavy, and Junmyeon was functioning on autopilot as he kicked off his shoes in the darkness. Very little had changed for him in the past year. He was twenty-one now, merely another year older than he had been last winter, and somehow even more poor.

Perhaps if he hadn’t caught pneumonia last month and had to visit a doctor, he would have more money to his name.

Muscle memory coming into play, Junmyeon grabbed the box of matches off the kitchen counter, along with a single candle. He hadn’t paid his electricity bill last month – he couldn’t afford it – and the company had finally switched off his power. His dingy, tiny apartment was constantly in complete and utter darkness, aside from the small glow of a candle that Junmyeon always lit. Winter had finally settled in properly, and Junmyeon had no choice but to let his apartment plunge into freezing temperatures. He had no heat, and wouldn’t be able to pay for it regardless. He could barely afford his rent as it was.

Junmyeon had built a nest upon his living room floor, decorating the old stained carpeting with an assemblage of blankets and pillows he had been hoarding ever since he was eighteen. It was, at this point, the only thing that kept him from freezing to death. He couldn’t remember the last time he had slept in a bed. He didn’t own a bedframe nor a mattress anymore, just another set of objects sold to strangers for money. His favorite armchair had vanished too many moons ago. All he could do was curl up in his nest of blankets and pillows and ignore the aches the floor drilled into his joints.

Since he did not have power, the only food Junmyeon kept within the four walls of his apartment was nonperishables. He didn’t eat dinner most nights. It would save money if he didn’t. So when Junmyeon stumbled home from work, he ducked into the bathroom with his candle so that he could brush his teeth and freshen up, before merely shuffling over to his makeshift bed, making sure to blow the candle out on his way over. He kept a battery-operated alarm clock on the floor near him to ensure he wouldn’t oversleep. And that was his routine. Work, sleep. Work, sleep. Work, sleep. But Junmyeon was too stressed and too tired to care about the repetitive circle he was stuck within.

Even though his pajamas were made of fleece and he was swaddled in covers, Junmyeon was still freezing. There was a suspicious tickle in the back of his throat as he curled up inside of his blankets, warning him he was on the brink of falling ill yet again. With a combination of stress, a low immune system, and immense work hours, Junmyeon’s body was slowly collapsing under the weight. His eyes were closed, and he was teetering on the edges of sleep already, even though he had been lying in bed for only two minutes.

Shivering, and hoping like mad that he wasn’t coming down with a fever, Junmyeon curled up in the tiniest ball he could manage. And in only thirty more seconds, he was asleep.

* * *

The coins in Junmyeon’s pockets felt like tiny icicles against his fingertips. Junmyeon toyed with their edges, mentally counting them and tallying the totals. He was standing in a line full of strangers and squinting at a distant menu board, shivering inside of his shabby jacket. The warmth of the café was making his eyes water, and he was sniffling constantly as his nose threatened to drip. The back of his throat was still tickling him in the worst of ways, and Junmyeon’s chest felt a little too tight for comfort. His stomach ached so badly that he felt queasy.

Junmyeon honestly could not remember the last time he had purchased something warm. The lack of electricity in his home meant no heated food. Every now and again he was lucky and a coworker brought in snacks for their team, leaving them in the break room and telling the others to help themselves. Never before in his life had Junmyeon battled so badly with self-control, but those were the moments Junmyeon struggled to only take a portion or two so that the others could have some as well. The ache in his stomach was fighting tooth and nail to convince him to take even more. But Junmyeon never did, not unless someone told him that he could.

_“Junmyeon, you wanna take the rest of this cake home? I don’t think anyone is gonna finish it.” “Junmyeon, you really liked those chips, right? Do you want the rest?” “Junmyeon, you can have more if you’re still hungry. I don’t think anyone is a big fan of this anyway. You can take it with you later if you don’t want it now.”_

Junmyeon loved those days, rare as they were. He loved the nonperishable snacks the most. They lasted longer. He had no way to store certain foods, and if Junmyeon knew that they would go bad due to a lack of refrigeration, he made sure to finish it off the moment he came home, struggling to pace himself. He wouldn’t _dare_ let perfectly good food go to waste.

Aside from the free snacks that occasionally came from his coworkers, Junmyeon did not eat very much anymore. It saved money if he didn’t buy very many groceries. All Junmyeon knew anymore was the taste of grains, living off of crackers and cereal and bread. He ate a little for breakfast. He always worked through his lunch breaks; he never brought anything to eat, and it gave him a little more money each week in his paycheck. And dinner, well, that depended on a lot of things. Most nights Junmyeon didn’t arrive home until late, and by then he was so tired that food was the last thing on his mind. All he could think about was rest. He came home, he freshened up, he crawled into his bed, and he was instantly asleep. The days the hunger made him feel absolutely sick were the days Junmyeon spoiled himself and ate something more.

Today was one of those days.

Work had been brutal for Junmyeon. With a stomach so empty that it made him dizzy and nauseated, there had been several instances where Junmyeon nearly blacked out during his shift. He had been assigned to stocking in the back room, so at least no one had seen him stumbling around on trembling legs akin to a baby deer, or how he at times had to cling to the metal shelving as his vision blurred uncontrollably. His body had grown weaker lately; stocking had become a grueling task for him. He no longer had the strength nor the energy to lift or carry heavy objects. He had at least been blessed enough that he mostly just had to tag the new arrivals. Junmyeon did not mind that one bit. It was lugging around the boxes that destroyed him.

But there had been too many close calls at work. Junmyeon knew he wasn’t eating enough as it was, and if the dizziness and blurred vision had anything to say about it, he knew his blood sugar was horribly low. He had to eat something, something _real,_ not a prepackaged item waiting inside a can or a cardboard box.

Junmyeon was cold, even though the inside of the café was warm. He was literally shivering as he stood in line, his skin coated in goosebumps as he curled into himself the best he could underneath his flimsy black jacket. He was always cold nowadays, no matter what he did to try to stay warm. His weight had dropped drastically over the past few months. The cushion of body fat was fading, and as it left, so did his ability to hold in heat.

The tickle in his throat was still there, a cold – or possibly something much more sinister – looming over his head. There was throbbing in his temples and a horrid amount of pain in his joints. Junmyeon did not feel well in the slightest, but he knew plenty well that he had no choice but go to work tomorrow.

Even walking felt like too much of a challenge, as if his legs were made of stone. The man behind the counter spoke to him when Junmyeon approached, but whatever he said floated through one of Junmyeon’s ears and out the other. He was too busy staring up at the menu board, shaking, his teeth literally chattering. There was a battle raging inside his brain as he tried to decide what to order. He needed something sweet to boost his blood sugar, but sweets would not fill him up. He needed a heavier meal.

Junmyeon at last mumbled out his order from between pale and trembling lips. He pulled an entire handful of coins from his pocket, double-checking that his change for laundry and bus fare was still on his person so that he didn’t accidentally spend it. He internally heaved a sigh of relief as he determined that he had just enough to cover the cost without having to break any bills.

Junmyeon offered the man his thanks as he accepted his receipt into a trembling hand. _Jongdae,_ the man’s nametag said, white plastic pinned onto his shirt matching the gray fabric well. He then turned away and tried to decide where to sit. He nearly fell, tripping over his own two feet as he headed over to a small table in the corner with two chairs. He collapsed into one of the cushioned seats immediately, legs trembling viciously even after they were free of his weight.

He curled up the best he could in his seat, raising his shaking hands heavenward and blowing on them in a pathetic attempt of warming them. His table was situated in front of a window that faced the street, and as Junmyeon waited on his food, he stared out at the world through the glass. He watched the cars whizz past. Junmyeon could see the bus stop across the street, the same one he took after work every day. He could see the crowds of people bustling past the building. He couldn’t help but let the jealousy sprout in his heart as he stared at them. Everyone seemed so warm and carefree and happy.

He wondered what that felt like.

Junmyeon spaced out. Shivering as he sat there in his chair, Junmyeon absently licked his chapped lips. He couldn’t help but wonder what he was even doing here, spending money on a meal like he could afford it. He knew that he could barely afford anything as it was, and the simple fact of it made him uneasy. He was trying his absolute hardest, but it just wasn’t good enough anymore. He needed to work more to rake in some extra cash, but how was that even possible? Junmyeon was already working more than the average workweek hours, and he still couldn’t catch up. He was exhausted as it was. How was he supposed to find the energy for another job, let alone enough hours in a day for it? Junmyeon didn’t know, but he _did_ know he needed to figure something out soon.

The man that brought him his food had the same gray clothing as Jongdae did, matching uniforms that only varied by the letters on their nametags. The man at his table had _Minseok_ written on his, offering Junmyeon a smile as he set down the bowl, before asking him if there was anything else he could get for him.

When Junmyeon told him that he was fine, Minseok turned away from him, nodding to show he understood. _Let me know if you need anything at all_ , Minseok told him, before heading back towards the counter, calling out to the only remaining male there, _Baekhyun, where’d you put the cleaner, table twelve is filthy._

They seemed to get along well, Junmyeon thought to himself, turning his attention onto his food. It was hot; Junmyeon could see the steam rising from it and his nose was already threatening to start dripping. Junmyeon sniffled, reaching for a napkin just to be safe, before his cold hands fumbled for his spoon. The positive side of the situation was that the portions were enormous. It was only soup with crackers on the side but Junmyeon was practically drooling on himself. It had been so _long_ since he had eaten anything warm.

It was always a struggle to pace himself these days whenever he ate. His stomach was too empty and he was too hungry and food, any type of it, was heavenly for him. But Junmyeon managed to keep his head on straight for the moment and ate slowly, knowing that even though he wanted to eat as quickly as he could, he’d only make things worse if he did. He spend a lot of time daydreaming and people watching as he enjoyed his meal, able to hear the chatter of the other patrons and the staff as his body, at long last, began to warm up again. It was such a wonderful feeling not to be cold anymore, nor to feel like his stomach was caving in on itself.

He was tired. Junmyeon pushed the bowl away when it was completely empty and began to nibble on the crackers. His eyelids were heavy and Junmyeon propped his chin up in one hand as he gazed out the window, watching the world pass him by. Tomorrow would be the same. Work, work, and more work, then to collapse exhausted into his bed on the floor. It was a repetitive existence. He needed more money and he wanted a change in his routine. Perhaps he could eventually be able to figure something out soon, before it was too late.

Junmyeon didn’t remember falling asleep. But somehow, he had, and when Junmyeon opened his eyes, he had his arms folded atop of the table, and his face buried into them. Groggy and disoriented, Junmyeon lifted his head before he froze, realizing he was still sitting in the café. His eyes shot downward to check his watch, and his body then sagged with relief. It wasn’t too late; he must have slept for around forty-five minutes, if he had to take a guess. But he really needed to get going so that he could catch the bus before the lines stopped for the night.

About to rise from his seat, Junmyeon paused as he noticed a single white cup sitting atop of the table, only a few inches away from him. Junmyeon took a look around in confusion. He hadn’t ordered a drink, and there was no one sitting near him, so it couldn’t have been a mistake. The three staff members were all chattering away with each other even now, and Junmyeon didn’t want to interrupt, instead turning his attention back onto the little foam cup on his table.

Seeing a few black lines, Junmyeon blinked and reached out to swivel the cup around, finding a note written upon the cup in messy handwriting, letters squeezed together to ensure the entire message would fit.

_‘I hope you like cocoa. It’s on the house. Please sleep more. Take care of your body. And make sure you keep your head up. – Yifan’_

Yifan? Who on earth was Yifan? Junmyeon’s mind was reeling as he, yet again, stole a glance at the three men behind the counter. It wasn’t them, that was for sure. Jongdae, Minseok, and Baekhyun; those weren’t _Yifan_. Junmyeon looked around in confusion. The only other people in the dining area other than him were an elderly woman in the opposite corner and a young couple chatting together, who didn’t seem to even realize he existed. No one in the room fit the bill to be the mysterious _Yifan._

Glancing down at the cup, Junmyeon hesitated for a long moment before slowly raising it to his lips and taking a tentative sip, unsure of what to expect.

His body instantly relaxed under the wonderful sweet taste that burst on his tongue. The sugar and flavor of chocolate were heavenly for him, and Junmyeon closed his eyes for a moment, feeling like he was in heaven.

When he left the café a few moments later, Junmyeon clutched the cup of cocoa in his hand as if it was made of gold.

* * *

Although it was initially not part of his plans, Junmyeon slowly became a regular at the café. It created an onslaught of guilt within him to spend money that he knew he couldn’t _afford_ to be spending, but he needed to eat. The days of living off nothing but cheap grains simply were not cutting it anymore.

The first time Junmyeon collapsed, it was in the stock room at his job, on a cold December afternoon. That had been not even ten days ago. That was also the moment Junmyeon realized that he was in trouble. There had been countless instances in the past where he had grown dizzy, overcome with vertigo, and had to clutch various structures so that his legs could support his weight. But never before in his life had Junmyeon actually fallen down and found himself unable to stand.

He had laid there for a few minutes, mind spinning and vision dusted with white spots and blurring uncontrollably. With shaking limbs, he managed to haul himself up onto his hands and knees, barely even able to see.

And the next moment, there were hands, much warmer than he was and wrapping around his arms to haul him to his feet.

_“Junmyeon, what happened? Did you fall? Here, sit down. You’re as pale as a ghost.”_

_Seated upon the bottom step of the stepladder housed within the stock room, Junmyeon’s brain was fuzzy and he could taste bile in the back of his throat. His stomach ached, and he was positive that his sugar was low. It typically was these days from the lack of fuel._

_He didn’t like making people worry. He knew his coworkers babied him because they were worried about him, no matter how many times Junmyeon attempted to brush off their concerns. They didn’t need to get bogged down by his problems._

_But there he was, being fussed over as he sat, shaking, on a stepladder. Sehun had rushed out of the stock room for only a moment, returning with a bottle of water and Chanyeol, another one of their coworkers. The handful of candies Chanyeol gave him tasted like strawberries and sugar. It didn’t shake away the nausea, but Junmyeon forced himself to finish them off, feeling his stomach clench in response._

_Sehun placed a hand on his forehead, making a face at the cold sweat coating his skin. Junmyeon didn’t like it. Sehun was younger than he was. Sehun should not be attempting to take care of him. It wasn’t fair._

_“You almost passed out,_ and _you have a fever,” Sehun told him, his brow creased with worry. “Junmyeon… How many times do we have to tell you that you need to take care of yourself? You don’t even take a break to eat. No wonder you almost fainted. You need to eat more. You’re getting way too thin.”_

_“You should go home and get some rest,” Chanyeol urged. “I’ll let mister Do know you’re sick—“_

_“I can’t go home,” Junmyeon interrupted, panic bursting in his veins. “I need to work… I have bills, I need to work.”_

_The two boys frowned before Sehun spoke again. “At least take it easy today. Take a break. Eat something.”_

_“I didn’t bring anything,” Junmyeon told him, and it was true. He never packed a lunch or snacks, working through all potential breaks._

_“Give me a few minutes,” Chanyeol told him, already reaching for his wallet. “I’ll go get you something.”_

_Junmyeon’s eyes immediately widened, despite how sick he felt. “Chanyeol, you don’t—“_

_“You need to eat something,” Chanyeol interjected, already standing in the doorway. “Stay here and rest for a bit. We’ll cover for you.”_

_Sehun, after making sure he wasn’t going to faint, left him alone in the stock room to ensure their manager wouldn’t grow suspicious. Chanyeol returned soon enough with a meal from the food court, all just for him, and Junmyeon vaguely wondered guiltily how much money Chanyeol had just spent on him. Junmyeon offered to pay him back – even though he knew he wouldn’t be able to – but Chanyeol merely waved him away and said it was his treat, that Junmyeon didn’t need to worry._

_The portions were absolutely huge and everything was toasting hot, sans the two chocolate chip cookies Chanyeol had also purchased for him, sitting in a little pink paper bag on the side. Junmyeon didn’t realize how hungry he was until he began to eat, but if anything, that sudden knowledge only made him eat faster._

He slowly became a more frequent visitor to the café after that, stopping by once a week, purchasing the cheapest thing possible on the menu that would still fill him up. It stretched his paycheck even more until it was paper-thin, but for now, it was what Junmyeon had to do. It was extra money to spend each week, but ever since he started stopping by the café near his job weekly, Junmyeon had thankfully managed to avoid any further fainting scares. Sure, he still wasn’t eating nearly enough as he needed to be, but as long as he didn’t pass out at work, he thought he would be okay.

Well. Mostly okay. He was still dirt poor, living literally paycheck to paycheck. His fever from that day thankfully had broken, but now, days later, Junmyeon could tell he was coming down with something else. He was cold and his chest hurt and it was awfully hard to breathe lately.

Standing in line as usual, calm and tired, Junmyeon’s eyes wandered. The first time he had set foot in the café, he had only seen three men working. Today, there were three men as usual, but Junmyeon did not see the usual of Jongdae, Minseok, and Baekhyun that he was accustomed to. Instead, he was left staring at Jongdae and Minseok and a mysterious third man that towered over both of them. Junmyeon had seen him a couple times since he had started coming to the café, but he did not know the man’s name. They had never spoken before.  And while Minseok, Jongdae, and Baekhyun wore the standard uniform, this man did not. Junmyeon had seen him many times wearing simplistic button-ups of various colors and baggy sweaters. It puzzled him, but it did not confuse him enough to make him want to ask questions. It was not any of his business anyway.

Jongdae took his order like he had the very first time Junmyeon had set foot inside the little café, just like how Minseok smiled at him and how Junmyeon seated himself in the corner of the shop to wait for his food.

However, one thing that had never happened before, not even the first time Junmyeon had set foot within the glass doors, was the strange man he had never spoken to before bringing him his meal.

He was so much bigger up close, Junmyeon nervously noted to himself as he sat there in his seat, glancing up as he heard the telltale patter of shoes against the hard floor. He could already tell the man was tall, but with Junmyeon sitting down, he looked like a _giant._ It made him nervous, especially with the man’s rather hardened face. Although they had never spoken to each other before, the stranger always seemed to be sucked into his own little world, absently scowling as he occupied himself with various tasks or stared off into space.

But right now, his face seemed softer as he came to a halt beside Junmyeon’s little table. His eyes were a little brighter, crinkled up slightly at the corners as the smallest of smiles crossed his lips. Junmyeon could see his gums struggling to peek out, accompanied by a flash of white teeth.

Junmyeon’s heart skipped a beat or three.

“Sorry it took so long,” the man apologized, unloading the small tray he was carrying. Junmyeon was stock-still as the stranger set his bowl down on the table, long arms hidden beneath a loose turtleneck. Junmyeon could smell cologne and it made his mind wonderfully hazy. The stranger had his head cocked ever-so-slightly to one side as he clutched the tray easily underneath one arm. Junmyeon could see the glimmer of an earring pierced through each of his lobes. “Can I get you anything else?”

Junmyeon blinked a few times before he realized that he had been staring. Cheeks flushing in embarrassment, he quickly shook his head. “N-No, thank you.”

“Well, if you need anything, just holler,” the man said, his smile stretching out a little wider as he began to step away from the table. The meager sight of it made Junmyeon’s pulse quicken and his throat dry. “My name is Kris, by the way. Enjoy!”

Kris. Junmyeon’s heart was fluttering as he watched Kris step away from the table, heading back behind the counter. He was tugging up his sleeves and talking with Minseok, the smile now gone from his face as he worked, but it was practically imprinted into Junmyeon’s brain already.

For the first time in several months, Junmyeon smiled, even as he began to eat.

* * *

Although Junmyeon had not been expecting it, he was actually hopeful that he would get to see Kris again the next time he went to the café. The mere thought of bumping into him made his heart flutter in the weirdest of ways, and deep down, Junmyeon actually didn’t mind it. It was nice to experience an emotion other than worry or sadness for once, as he was constantly stressed over his financial situation. A change of pace in his disgustingly repetitive life sounded heavenly.

Luck was on his side for once. When Junmyeon quietly passed through the glass doors, he could see Kris standing behind the counter, chewing on the end of a pen as he stared down at a handful of papers. There wasn’t a line today, so Junmyeon was up first, approaching the counter as his pulse began to pick up speed.

Kris didn’t look up, but he must have been signaled to Junmyeon’s presence by his footsteps, because he spoke with absolutely no warning. “Minseok, we’re short. They were supposed to send a dozen bottles of the syrup and they only sent eleven.”

Junmyeon blinked. “Ah… I’m not…”

Kris finally glanced up from his papers, confusion on his face for a second before he offered Junmyeon a sheepish smile. “Sorry. I thought you were my coworker. He hasn’t come back from his break yet.”

“Oh,” Junmyeon replied dumbly. “Um. Hopefully he’ll be back soon?”

“Hopefully. It’s tough manning the store when it’s just two people,” Kris told him, sidestepping to give Baekhyun some extra space when the smaller male walked behind the counter with an armful of dirty dishes. Kris set his pen and papers down and approached the register, absently tugging at the sleeves of his sweatshirt. “What can I get for you?”

It was just like the last time Junmyeon came to the café. After Kris took his order, he sat at the same table in the corner while he waited on his food. Kris, once more, was the one to bring him his meal, offering him that same little grin he had done the very first time.

“Can I get you anything else?” Kris asked him, and Junmyeon shook his head ‘no’ in response. “Well, if you need anything, just holler. By the way, I never got your name last time.”

“Oh, uh,” Junmyeon started, internally kicking himself. Why couldn’t he talk like a normal human being all of a sudden? It felt like he was choking on his heart. “I-I’m Junmyeon.”

“Junmyeon?” Kris echoed, testing the name on his tongue. When Junmyeon nodded in confirmation, Kris’ smile stretched a bit wider, showing off white teeth and a flash of pink gums. “I won’t forget, I promise. Like I said, if you ever need anything, just ask. I’m almost always here, so…”

“Have you been working here a long time then?” Junmyeon asked curiously.

“Two years now, I think?” Kris offered in response, scratching the back of his neck. “Not sure if that counts as a ‘long time’, but yeah. My old man couldn’t take care of the business anymore so now I’m in charge.”

Junmyeon’s eyes grew big and round. “You’re the owner?”

“Surprise?” Kris offered playfully, letting out a soft laugh that made Junmyeon’s stomach do somersaults. “But yeah, I am. What about you? What do you do for a living?”

Shame suddenly gushed through Junmyeon’s veins. He lowered his gaze. How could he even compare his job to the one Kris had? “I… I work retail.”

“Ah, really? You must be tough then. I know how crazy people can get,” Kris told him. Junmyeon was almost instantly bombarded by flashbacks of ridiculous customers he had dealt with over the months. Kris was easily clutching the serving tray in one large hand, expression thoughtful. “You know, Junmyeon, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Junmyeon peeked up at him through his bangs. It was as if Kris had just read his mind. “Really?”

“Of course. It doesn’t make you any less of a person to have a specific job,” Kris elaborated with a loose shrug of his shoulders. “Everyone is just trying to make it in this world. We aren’t very different from one another, despite what we do for an occupation.”

Junmyeon merely blinked at him, thrown for a loop. Or possibly two.

“Anyway, I’ll let you eat before your food gets cold,” Kris said then, turning away and heading back towards the counter. “Enjoy!”

Heart fluttering, and feeling more comfortable in his own skin than he had in ages, Junmyeon mutely turned his attention onto his meal.

* * *

Although Junmyeon hadn’t been expecting it, Kris was oddly entertaining, and quite fun to be around. Whenever the man was focused on something, he had a tendency to scowl. Even when he was spacing out, he looked as if he was pissed off with the world. But the moment he spoke about something, snapping out of his daydreams, it was like his entire face and body would light right up. Kris was far beyond one-dimensional and it was fun to see.

It was fun just to talk to Kris. Junmyeon found himself growing addicted to seeing Kris; it was one of his favorite parts of the entire week. Kris was a change in his routine, and Kris was wonderful company. Even on the days when Junmyeon couldn’t find him, all Junmyeon had to do was ask Minseok or Jongdae or Baekhyun if Kris was around. And then, every time without fail, Kris would emerge from the back office, wearing that same dorky little smile as he came over to Junmyeon’s table to say hello.

Junmyeon loved it.

Their conversations weren’t the deepest, but they slowly learned little pieces about each other. He discovered that Kris was only a few years older than him, that Kris did not like winter, that Kris loved to sing his lungs out when he was in the shower.

Kris was laughing right then as he stood next to Junmyeon’s table, telling him a story about his first attempt of making a smoothie. Junmyeon could not remember the last time he had laughed about _anything_ , but Kris had an odd charm and a knack for storytelling, and Junmyeon couldn’t help but crack up as he listened to Kris talk. All he could imagine was Kris fumbling around behind the counter as red smoothie splattered across the kitchen, since Kris had forgotten to place the lid on the blender before switching it on.

It may not have been extremely useful personal information, but every little bit made Junmyeon happy to hear. They were slowly bonding. He was gaining a new friend.

And perhaps, he was hatching something a little bigger inside his heart than just friendship.

Junmyeon liked it best when Kris was at the café. Sure, Minseok, Jongdae, and Baekhyun were friendly and very nice, but Kris was his favorite. He hadn’t intended for it to happen, but Junmyeon had developed a tiny crush on the mysterious café worker. It hadn’t taken him long to realize it; whenever he set foot inside, and Kris was there, Junmyeon’s heart instantly started beating a little faster. And when Kris was absent, Junmyeon couldn’t help but feel disappointed.

There were never any actual conversations between the two of them, only bare basics, but Junmyeon liked seeing him. There was something about Kris that was so oddly welcoming, and even though they were still complete strangers, Junmyeon felt completely comfortable in his presence. Every time Kris offered him a smile when Junmyeon came in to eat, Junmyeon could feel his heart beating that much faster, as if he was a giddy teenage girl being noticed by her high school crush.

This week was different. Just like every winter, Junmyeon was ill. He wasn’t deathly sick, but he could tell he was rapidly coming down with _something._ He knew he had a fever. He was shivering but sweating and it was as if every muscle in his body ached. His chest was tight. He was coughing uncontrollably. Breathing was difficult. He knew, deep down, he probably shouldn’t be out in public at all, but he had to do what he had to do. He was already ill and struggling to keep himself pieced together; skipping his weekly ‘large’ meal would only create more problems.

Junmyeon felt so sick that the thought of seeing Kris didn’t make him feel any better. He could see the man standing on a ladder in the back of the shop, working on hanging something. Junmyeon did not want to bother him. And really, he didn’t feel well enough to anyway. So he kept his mouth shut and carried on as usual.

He kept his distance from Jongdae when he put in his order, not wanting to risk getting the other man sick. He may have been contagious. Junmyeon didn’t know. He didn’t think about it too hard as he stumbled to his table in the corner, nearly collapsing into his chair. His head hurt. He coughed into the crook of his arm and curled in on himself. He wanted to sleep.

He must have looked as bad as he felt, because when Kris swung by his table a few minutes later with his meal on that familiar tray, the man literally paused in his tracks to give Junmyeon a rather worried look.

“Are you feeling alright?” Kris asked him, his thick eyebrows furrowing together in a puzzled fashion. Despite his inquiry, Kris bent over a bit to place Junmyeon’s dishware onto the table. “You don’t seem like yourself today.”

“I don’t feel well,” Junmyeon admitted quietly, sniffling a bit.

“It’s not something serious, is it?” Kris asked, sounding awfully worried. The concern made heat spread over the surface of Junmyeon’s ribcage. “Maybe you should go home and rest, Junmyeon.”

“I think I’ll be okay. I get sick often, to be honest. My immune system is poor,” Junmyeon confessed, sighing softly and barely managing to hold back a cough. “It really sucks to be sick all the time, but it is what it is, I guess. There isn’t a whole lot I can do about it.”

“Have you tried tea? It’s not a cure, obviously, but it could help you feel a lot better,” Kris explained, his face lighting up in a grin. “Wait here. I’ll make some for you.”

“Ah, Kris, wait, you don’t…” Junmyeon started, only to trail off when Kris scampered away, obviously not listening to a word he was saying anymore. Junmyeon sighed. “…have to.”

While Kris was gone, Junmyeon turned his attention onto his food, trying to eat before it cooled. Junmyeon was absolutely freezing from fever as he sat there, even though the sweat was running down his skin underneath his warm bundle of clothing. He was sniffling repeatedly, sinuses opening up from the warmth of his meal. Kris returned soon enough, a hopeful smile on his face as he brought Junmyeon a small cup and a coaster.

“Here, this should help you a bit. It’s not much, but it might make you feel a little better,” Kris said, setting the gray and blue patterned coaster down on the table. Junmyeon couldn’t help but notice how it matched the uniforms of the staff. Kris then set down his cup.

Junmyeon glanced up at him worriedly, biting down on his chapped lower lip. “How much do I owe you for the tea, Kris?”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s on me,” Kris explained. Despite his large frame and typical scowl that was plastered on his face when he was thinking about something, Kris was quite a warm person. Junmyeon could see that plain as day as Kris gave him a big smile.

“That isn’t fair to you,” Junmyeon argued weakly, only to have Kris shake his head in response.

“Junmyeon, seriously, it’s fine. I really don’t mind. I know we aren’t close but I do consider you a friend, seeing how often you come here.” Kris just shrugged his shoulders. “So don’t worry about it. Besides, you’re sick. You need all the help you can get. I just want you to take care of your body.”

Take care of your body… Where had Junmyeon heard that before? It sounded so familiar, right on the tip of his tongue, but Junmyeon simply could not remember.

“Try to take it easy, okay? Keep your head up,” Kris continued, reaching out to give Junmyeon a small and comforting pat on the back. Junmyeon was having a horrible case of déjà vu. He knew he had heard those words before, but he couldn’t remember where. “If you need anything, just let me know. I hope you feel better soon.”

Kris left him alone then, and Junmyeon could not remember a time where he had felt so confused.

* * *

Armed with a prescription medication in his bag, Junmyeon closed his front door behind him and kicked off his shoes. The apartment was pitch black as it always was. In the darkness, Junmyeon couldn’t tell if his vision was spinning again or not. He grabbed the bottle of pills and made a beeline for his bathroom. The goal was to take his medicine and then go straight to bed after brushing his teeth. It hurt to even move, let alone walk or do anything else. All Junmyeon wanted to do was sleep.

His illness had manifested into something truly awful, and after fainting on the bus, Junmyeon had no choice but to see a doctor.

Junmyeon had gone to work sick. It hadn’t taken Sehun and Chanyeol long to realize that he was ill, and Junmyeon had to beg and plead for them not to tell the manager, otherwise he knew he would be sent home. They let it slide, though they purposefully let him have the easier jobs, both running at a slower pace and away from people, for Junmyeon’s safety and the public’s.

But that didn’t mean there hadn’t been some close calls. Junmyeon had nearly fainted twice at work, and when he was taking his bus home, he had collapsed, briefly losing consciousness. When he stirred awake, Junmyeon knew right then and there, that he was in bad shape. Despite the aches, the pains, the countless symptoms of illness, fainting was the number one sign he was _very_ sick.

And although he couldn’t afford it, Junmyeon went to the doctor.

After his visit, both paying for it and his medication, Junmyeon couldn’t help but stress. It was even on his mind as he stood there in his bathroom, brushing his teeth tiredly as he struggled not to start coughing. The doctor’s visit had been something that Junmyeon _needed_ badly; it wasn’t like it had been a choice anymore. It was nothing but a requirement. He had been too sick to keep carrying on. But the cost of medical care was something that Junmyeon could not afford, especially with how he was already living on a stretched budget. It had cost him too much. Junmyeon had no idea how he was even going to pay his rent this month. Would he even be able to eat anything this month? He doubted it.

What could he possibly do? Junmyeon was already worn thin from his job. There were only a certain number of hours in a day, and Junmyeon was using up nearly all of them already. But he needed more money. He couldn’t keep living like this forever.

His brain wandered. Junmyeon couldn’t help but think about the more risqué jobs on the market, positions that came to life after dark when Junmyeon was already at home from work. Junmyeon did not know how well those types of jobs paid, but surely, they could work around his schedule. That counted for something, right?

He felt queasy suddenly, as if he was unable to believe he was actually mulling over a second job in that type of field. Junmyeon didn’t know _what_ he could do, but just thinking about it made his skin crawl. He knew he wasn’t cut out for being a stripper. But perhaps…

Junmyeon swallowed harshly as his thoughts wandered even further, and he couldn’t help but shift his weight uncomfortably from foot to foot as the thought of ‘sex industry’ floated into the back of his mind.

It could fit into his schedule. Surely there were plenty of time slots he could take after his retail job, when night was there to shroud him in darkness and keep him safe from the public eye. It wasn’t like it was Junmyeon’s first time having sex; he had lost his virginity years ago. But to have sex with someone he did not know…

He felt suddenly disgusted with himself. The thought of someone paying him just to use his body for sexual release made his stomach flop. The possibility of being paid for such a service was definitely a positive, but Junmyeon was not sure if he could handle the rest of the situation. His mind was a blur of intrusive and horrible thoughts and Junmyeon tightened his grip on his toothbrush as everything became ugly. Surely they would let him choose the sex of the other party – Junmyeon did not hold attraction for women, after all – but there was no telling _who_ he would receive.

He imagined creepy older men with their fat fingers on his thighs, yanking his legs apart, shoving him down onto a dirty motel mattress—

He instantly felt like crying. Was this what his life was about to come to? Letting some strangers have sex with him so he could survive another day? Junmyeon did not know when his life became this bad, when his options had become this limited. He didn’t like it. He felt disgusted and ashamed and he wanted to go home, but this was his home now, just some shitty little apartment that he couldn’t even afford.

When Junmyeon laid down to go to sleep, he felt dirty within his own skin, unable to shake the sensation of strangers touching him. It was a disgusting feeling. And it was even more disgusting to wonder to himself if anyone would even want him. He was so thin these days, even his cheeks had shrunk down in size, and he didn’t know if anyone would dare to go near him.

Would someone even want to touch a person as thin and ugly as him?

* * *

They weren’t close by any means, but Junmyeon found himself missing Kris when he stopped by the café the next week. He had swallowed his pride and asked Baekhyun if the man was around. After all, Kris had mentioned sometimes he was hiding in the back office to do important tasks, as he was the owner. But Baekhyun had offered him a sympathetic look and said that Kris had the night off. Junmyeon hoped he didn’t look as disappointed as he suddenly felt, just nodding to say he understood.

It wasn’t even because of the butterflies he got whenever he ran into Kris. The mushy feelings he housed deep inside were presently dormant. Junmyeon was instead overcome with a mesh of negative emotions, from worry to loneliness to sadness.

Even though he and Kris still knew so very little about one another, Junmyeon was plenty aware of the fact that Kris was nice company. He just wanted someone to talk to tonight, and while Kris normally fit the bill, he simply wasn’t there.

And Junmyeon missed his presence horribly.

He had grown so accustomed to Kris chatting with him whenever he came into the café that sitting alone in the corner with no one to talk to made him feel disgustingly alone. Sehun and Chanyeol were nice, but Junmyeon didn’t talk to them at all outside of work. He didn’t even have their phone numbers. The trio that worked at the café was friendly, but Junmyeon hadn’t spoken to them much. The only person he chatted with outside of work was Kris. It was pathetic in his eyes. He hardly knew anything about Kris, only saw him once a week, but still harbored a crush on him and looked forward to seeing him so much that when he _couldn’t_ , the loneliness he typically felt only increased.

When had things become so lifeless that he only found pleasure anymore by talking with a borderline stranger once a week?

Junmyeon stared down into his bowl and sighed, loosening his grip on his spoon. He could see the fuzzy outline of his reflection in the liquid. Well, perhaps it was best to experience the emotions now rather than later. Junmyeon knew, deep down, that he wouldn’t get to see Kris ever again. The money he had spent on a doctor’s visit and medication had officially dug his grave. Junmyeon didn’t have enough money in his bank account to pay his rent. The only reason he had been able to stop by the café was because a little bit of a luck Junmyeon had by finding a few bills on the ground, just enough for him to buy something to eat. He doubted that he would be able to come back ever again after tonight. When people were as broke as he was, eating at a café was considered a luxury. And now it was a luxury Junmyeon could no longer afford. And even though it made him upset, it was just how things were for him now.

Nothing ever went right for him. It was no surprise that this situation fell through, just like the remainder of things in his life. The realization stung, but Junmyeon wouldn’t dare cry. He would allow himself to be upset, but wouldn’t cry.

Tucked away in the corner, Junmyeon never heard the whispers of a conversation that went on at the front counter.

_“Well, you were right,” Baekhyun commented to Jongdae, watching Junmyeon from his spot behind the register. “That’s a crush the size of Texas right there.”_

_“Did you see how sad he looked when you told him Kris took the night off?” Jongdae asked him, wiping the back counter off with a rag. “He’s completely love-struck like a little puppy.”_

_“Kris probably has no idea either. You know how oblivious he can be, especially since he spends so much time in his own head thinking about who-knows-what.” Baekhyun let out an exaggerated sigh and then clicked his tongue. “Well, I guess all we can do is wait and see where the dominos fall.”_

* * *

The second week of January was when Junmyeon’s life unraveled completely. Despite the previous hardships in his life, he had always managed to bounce back from them, fighting tooth and nail the entire time. He always found a way to drag himself out of trenches, but this time, there was no coming back, and Junmyeon knew it. The slope was simply too steep, and Junmyeon was falling.

Little by little, life crumbled around him into dust. He stopped going to the café. He wondered if Kris missed talking with him as much as Junmyeon enjoyed having a conversation with him. His meals grew even smaller as he tried to stretch his paycheck a little thinner, but it was impossible. Junmyeon was officially as broke as broke could get. He had asked for additional overtime at work, but mister Do turned him down, saying Junmyeon was already working too many hours. And although the money in his account slowed, the incoming bills did not.

He didn’t have enough money to pay them, and just when Junmyeon didn’t think life could get any worse, it did.

First was his water. When the proper payment never came, the company didn’t hesitate in switching it off. Junmyeon had lost power a long time ago, and then, he had no running water. He had a few bottles of water in his home that he had swiped out of the break room fridge at work, and had been hoarding for a rainy day. He began to carefully measure out the liquid so that he could keep up with his hygiene, but it was extremely difficult. When they were empty, Junmyeon had no shame when he used the sink at work to refill them.

He began to carry bags back and forth to work, unsure of how long he would have a roof over his head. He did not have many possessions. With some meticulous packing, Junmyeon managed to fit everything inside his backpack. He stored some of his blankets in a separate messenger bag, keeping them folded into the tiniest possible shape so that he could fit more inside.

Junmyeon had seen it coming, but that didn’t make the pain any less. When he came home on a Thursday night, he found a note stuck to his door. And when Junmyeon drew nearer to read it, that was when he at last cracked. It was an eviction notice.

It was on January ninth that Junmyeon, at long last, let himself cry, sinking to his knees outside of his front door and wailing uncontrollably.

He was officially at the bottom, and there was no way to get out.

* * *

Kris had to admit, he was troubled. It had been a month since he had last seen Junmyeon. It was truly puzzling. Regular customers did not simply up and vanish into thin air without reason. Kris had actually started combing through webpages, checking out reviews customers had left for his café, trying to determine if he had somehow angered Junmyeon enough to make him run off and leave a negative review. He found nothing. It was as if Junmyeon had completely disappeared off the face of the earth.

He was worried.

Monday nights were typically slow. Kris yawned as he scratched his chin tiredly, sinking back in his chair. He could hear the soft patter of rain against the roof. The drawer had already been counted, the store had been cleaned and closed, and his three employees had already gone home. But there Kris was, hiding in the back office and tinkering around on his computer. He liked being the owner, but he didn’t like all the responsibilities – or paperwork – that came with it.

Stretching his arms above his head, Kris heaved himself out of his chair, switching off his monitor and collecting his coat and keys. No point in staying here all night; the work would still be there in the morning.

As he closed the door to his office and locked it, and wandered out near the counter, Kris realized he could hear rattling. It made him nervous for a moment, unsure if someone had managed to slip into the building without him realizing it. However, as he peered across the room, he could see a figure outside, tugging wildly on the handles of the front door. Locked, they rattled pathetically and loudly in response.

Frowning, Kris walked over to the door. He had half a mind to tell whoever it was to read the sign, because they were clearly closed, but he froze as he peered through the glass. He recognized that face.

Kris fumbled for his keys then and unlocked the door before yanking it open, letting in a rush of icy winter air. And standing there outside of the entrance to his café was Junmyeon, shivering and sobbing and drenched from the rain. He was clutching a soaked pillow to his chest, a backpack and a messenger bag hanging from his body.

“I-I’m sorry,” Junmyeon stuttered out, shaking from the cold and hiccupping from crying. “I d-didn’t know where else to go.”

Kris chose not to comment on that just yet. Instead, he ushered the small male inside as fast as he could. “Just get in here. God, you’re soaked—Wait here. I’ll get you a towel.”

Kris hurried behind the counter, yanking open various drawers and cabinets until he at last found what he was looking for. It wasn’t much, nothing more than a dishtowel, but it was all they had. Since Junmyeon’s hands were full, hanging onto his pillow, Kris went to work without comment, fanning out the towel before placing it atop of the boy’s head to try to dry his dripping wet hair. Junmyeon was still crying, sniffling and shaking the entire time.

“Junmyeon, what happened to you? I haven’t seen you in weeks. I’ve been worried,” Kris admitted without shame, still working on drying the boy’s hair. Junmyeon’s teeth were audibly clicking together as he stood there shaking, dripping wet. “Man, you’re lucky I decided to stay late tonight.”

Junmyeon hiccupped weakly, closing his eyes. “I’m s-sorry, Kris.”

“Sorry for what? You aren’t being a bother. You obviously need help, and I’m here,” Kris murmured, at last giving Junmyeon’s hair a break. He frowned down at the smaller male. “What happened?”

Junmyeon’s throat clenched around a sudden knot that ballooned inside of it. His eyes were watering all over again. “I… I-I… My apartment… I c-couldn’t pay my rent…”

Kris blinked a couple times, surprise evident on his face. “They kicked you out?”

“I tried to keep up, I tried so hard, but I c-couldn’t,” Junmyeon squeezed out, face contorting with misery. “I didn’t w-want to bother you, I really didn’t, I know it’s late but everything was already closed, and I… I-I…”

“Junmyeon, I really don’t mind. I’m just confused. You don’t have anyone nearby that you could have gone to?” Kris asked, thick eyebrows upturning worriedly. “Family or friends or a girlfriend?”

“I don’t have anyone,” Junmyeon whispered honestly. He knew people, like Sehun and Chanyeol, but they weren’t close enough, not to mention that Junmyeon didn’t have their contact information. “My family doesn’t talk to m-me anymore. My boyfriend and I b-broke up ages ago. I’m just…by myself.”

Kris’ heart squeezed in pity. “You’re completely by yourself?”

“Yeah,” Junmyeon mumbled. “But it’s okay! I… I’ve been…surviving. On my own. Yeah.”

“It’s not okay. Everyone deserves to have someone that cares about them, you know,” Kris told him, pursing his lips before letting out a sigh. “Junmyeon… Look. Since you can’t go home, why don’t you stay at my place for now?”

Junmyeon paled. “But Kris—“

“Junmyeon, look at me. You’re homeless. You literally have nowhere to go,” Kris interrupted, and Junmyeon slowly mulled it over, shame visible on his face as he simply closed his mouth. “And you’re definitely not staying out in this weather. You’ll freeze to death. And even if you didn’t have that risk, I wouldn’t let you anyway. Anything bad could happen to you out there.”

“Kris…” Junmyeon sniffed, hugging his pillow tightly to his chest. “Thank you. _Really_.”

“Sure. I only want one thing from you,” Kris said, “and that’s to know what happened. _Everything_. Okay? Now wait here. I’ll go get the car so you don’t have to go walking back out in the rain.”

As Kris led him outside, locking the door, and leaving Junmyeon under the safety of the overhang momentarily to fetch his car from the parking lot, Junmyeon swallowed audibly. He hugged his pillow just a little tighter. He was already certain he would never be able to repay Kris for this.

* * *

Kris was restlessly flipping through the channels on his television. The door to his bedroom was firmly shut. Junmyeon was sleeping at the moment, and Kris had lowered the volume on his TV so he wouldn’t wake him up. Junmyeon had offered to take the couch – or even the floor – but Kris quickly told him no. Junmyeon could have the bed today. He had been through enough already.

Junmyeon had told him everything during the car ride to Kris’ apartment complex. As he sat there shivering in the passenger seat, Junmyeon started crying all over again, voice filled with embarrassment and shame and _misery_. Kris felt so sorry for him. It broke his heart to pieces to hear all of that.

He knew he had made the right choice by letting Junmyeon stay with him.

When they arrived to Kris’ home, Kris ushered him inside and told Junmyeon to make himself comfortable. Junmyeon unpacked his measly amount of belongings – missing the look of pity Kris was shooting him the entire time – and after that, Kris herded him in the bathroom to let him take a much needed shower. The boy was soaking wet and Junmyeon had already told him he was still somewhat sick from his previous illness. Kris didn’t want him getting any worse.

Kris let the smaller male wear a spare pair of his pajamas, even though Junmyeon was much tinier than he was. The hems of his pants dragged the floor and the neckline of his t-shirt hung over the edge of one smooth, thin shoulder. Junmyeon was too small and Kris knew it. So when he ordered takeaway for dinner, he urged Junmyeon to eat all that he wanted. The boy’s appetite was enormous and it really did make Kris feel sympathy for him. Junmyeon was literally starving to death.

Well, not anymore. Kris would be able to fatten him back up soon enough. He would make sure of that.

But what was he doing? He and Junmyeon had talked before, sure, but they weren’t close by any means. It was a little odd that he had invited Junmyeon to stay with him until he could get back on his feet. But deep down, Kris knew he didn’t have much of a choice. He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he had just let Junmyeon sleep on the streets.

As soon as Junmyeon ate, his eyelids had started drooping. Kris showed him to the bedroom, and after a brief moment to get ready and give Kris his thanks, Junmyeon was in bed. He was immediately asleep, obviously exhausted. Kris wondered just how long it had been since Junmyeon got to sleep in a bed instead of sleeping on the cold, hard floor.

Sighing, Kris reached down to grab his cup, slurping his drink noisily. Well, this was surely going to be something interesting. It would be even more interesting because Kris had offered to drive Junmyeon to work tomorrow. He had even packed Junmyeon a big lunch and several snacks to take with him to ensure the boy would get enough to eat.

Kris wasn’t sure why the big smile that Junmyeon gave him in return for all that he had done so far made him feel warm.

* * *

Waking Junmyeon up the next morning was one of the hardest things Kris had to do in quite some time. The sun was just peeking up over the horizon when Kris crept up to the bedroom door that was still firmly closed. Taking the doorknob into his hand, Kris twisted it silently before pushing the door open.

Junmyeon hadn’t moved a single inch since Kris had helped him get into bed the previous night. Still sound asleep, Junmyeon was curled up on his left side, face swollen from a deep slumber, covers tucked beneath his chin. Kris shuffled as quietly as he could over to the edge of the bed, unable to help but notice how much more at ease Junmyeon seemed to be when he was sleeping. It was as if the worries of the world around him melted away, granting him with peaceful rest.

So peaceful that Kris didn’t want to wake him, but he knew he had to.

As gently as possible, Kris lowered one hand and pressed it against one of Junmyeon’s rather bony shoulders. He shook him softly, voice hardly above a whisper. “Junmyeon. Come on, it’s time to get up. I even cooked breakfast for you.”

Junmyeon mumbled something incoherent, eyelashes fluttering as he began to pull into consciousness. And as Kris slowly and calmly coaxed him awake, he couldn’t help but think about something.

_“This all happened just so that you could be with your boyfriend?” Kris asked in disbelief. He was setting the table. Junmyeon was telling him all about his life with watery eyes as he chewed on some grapes that Kris had given him to hold him over until their food delivery arrived. “You liked him that much?”_

_“I didn’t like him. I loved him,” Junmyeon murmured, a few hot and salty tears dripping out of his eyes when he blinked. His grip tightened on the bowl of fruit. “I loved him so much that I gave up literally everything for him. Everything I had, even my heart, and I lost that too. I know we started to argue a lot because of our financial problems, but if you really love someone, you stick with them through thick and thin, right? I guess I just loved him more than he loved me. I never even thought about cheating on him, let alone in the bed we shared at night.”_

It just didn’t add up in Kris’ mind. He simply didn’t understand how Junmyeon’s ex-boyfriend could have been so foolish. Junmyeon had obviously loved him immensely; he had given up his family, his dreams, his happiness, just to stay with him. Junmyeon picked himself completely apart for their relationship, and if that wasn’t love, then Kris didn’t know what was. Love that ran that deeply was hard to come by these days, if not impossible to find. His ex had been a damned fool to throw something to that extent away.

And as he stared at Junmyeon, whose shoulder Kris was still gingerly shaking, he couldn’t help but wonder if Junmyeon’s ex had been bind on top of everything else. Why would he need to cheat? Junmyeon was far from ugly, and if Kris dared himself to admit it, Junmyeon was in fact actually quite stunning. A youthful and flawless face, a charming smile, bright twinkling eyes, and a warm, bubbly personality.

“Kris?” Junmyeon sleepily whispered, drowsy eyes staring at him. Kris tried to ignore the sudden warmth in his belly when Junmyeon said his name like that. “What time is it…?”

Junmyeon’s ex-boyfriend had it all, and had thrown it all away.

* * *

“Are your hours too long, Junmyeon?” Kris asked as he drove Junmyeon to work. The boy was still half-asleep, dozing quietly in Kris’ passenger seat and hugging his lunchbox close. Junmyeon sleepily opened his eyes, gazing at Kris in confusion. Kris merely hummed as he continued to stare out at the road. “You seem awfully tired.”

“It’s tiring,” Junmyeon murmured, sleepily rubbing his eyes with the back of one little fist. “I’ve been tired for so long, Kris, it’s not even funny anymore.”

“I’m a café owner; I can understand exhaustion,” Kris replied, pulling his car up to the curb outside of the mall. It was still quiet since the building hadn’t opened to the public just yet. Junmyeon murmured his thanks and, clutching his lunchbox like a little kid, he pried open the door. He had just managed to hop out when Kris spoke again. “Junmyeon, wait a second.”

Curiously, Junmyeon peered into the car to see Kris’ pursed lips, like he always did when he was thinking about something.

“You don’t have to keep working here if you don’t want to. Just remember that. There are plenty of jobs in the world,” Kris reassured him. He actually chuckled a little. “Not to mention that Baekhyun just turned in his two week notice a couple days ago. We’ll be short-staffed soon, if that’s something up your alley. Just a thought.”

“Won’t you get sick of seeing me?” Junmyeon asked, blinking innocently. “Seeing me at your job _and_ in your home?”

“I doubt it. Besides, if we get to see each other more, I can finally get to know you a bit better. I still hardly know you,” Kris pointed out, shooting the younger male a small but warm grin. “Just keep it in mind. I really wouldn’t care. I think you would be much happier if you got out of this retail business. Some people can pull it off, but I don’t think it is right for you.”

Junmyeon smiled at him, just like he had done the night before, and Kris’ insides suddenly felt like they were knotted together. Junmyeon just nodded, holding the lunchbox Kris had given him close to his chest, eyes seeming the brightest they had since the first day Kris had met him.

“I would like that very much, I think.”

* * *

“You packed a lunch?” Chanyeol and Sehun asked simultaneously in disbelief when Junmyeon actually announced that day that he was going to take a break, with the polka-dotted lunchbox Kris had given him clutched in his arms.

Junmyeon had never taken a break since he had started the job.

“A friend of mine packed it for me,” Junmyeon said shyly in response. He had no idea what was inside, but the lunchbox was heavy. The mystery of the situation did excite him, however. After all, the breakfast Kris had cooked earlier that morning had been extensive and Junmyeon couldn’t remember a time where he had tasted foods so delicious. “So yes, I’m taking my break today.”

“Your friend?” Sehun asked, arching one eyebrow, obviously not sure he had heard correctly. “Just a friend?”

“Yes, just a friend,” Junmyeon replied, even though his cheeks were threatening to turn pink. “His name is Kris, and he’s very nice.”

“Since when do friends pack their friends lunches?” Chanyeol asked, flabbergasted as he turned to Sehun. “You’ve never packed me a lunch in my whole life! You’ve never even bought me lunch!”

“That so isn’t true,” Sehun snapped back at him, whirling around, “I bought you lunch a few months ago!”

Junmyeon saw their distraction as his chance to escape, and he quickly scurried away, hurrying so that the boys wouldn’t notice that he was leaving. He could tell them that he was planning on turning in his two-week notice later.

Something was on his mind, however, as Junmyeon ducked into the break room. What did they mean by ‘just a friend’? Kris was his friend! What other implications were there _supposed_ to be?

Junmyeon ignored the weird fluttering in his tummy at that thought.

* * *

Kris wasn’t sure why he had mentioned that a position was opening up. Maybe it was because he needed to fill someone into the role asap, maybe it was because he felt bad for Junmyeon, Kris wasn’t sure. Regardless, the idea hadn’t seemed like a bad one. However, as he took Junmyeon under his wing for training, he realized he may have made a mistake. Junmyeon acted as if he had never set foot in a kitchen in his whole life.

The entire area behind the counter was a mess.

But somehow, it felt as if he and Junmyeon had known each other much longer than they actually had. Even though he and Junmyeon had only seen each other for a limited number of weeks, and despite the fact he had only just learned about Junmyeon’s history less than twenty-four hours ago, it was as if he had known the boy for ages. Maybe it was because Junmyeon was comfortable enough around him to joke around, making the atmosphere so much lighter in the process that there was no longer any capacity for it to be awkward.

“Well,” Kris began, his voice echoing in the empty café. Junmyeon had swung by after work to get some behind the scenes training so that he would be a little more up to speed once Baekhyun’s position was open. There was batter splashed on the apron Kris was wearing, and the hems of his sleeves that he had tugged up to his elbows had still managed to somehow get stained. “Tell you what. Let’s step away from baking for right now. I can try to teach you another dish tonight before we go home.”

Junmyeon shyly shuffled his feet across the flour-drenched floor. “I’m sorry I made a mess. I’ll clean it up.”

“I sure hope so. Reminds me of the time I bought a giant bag of flour myself and lugged it inside, and of course, the bottom fell out before I could even get it into storage.” Kris groaned loudly. “That was a mess of the century.”

“I’m sure it was.” The edges of Junmyeon’s mouth twitched into a small smile. The boy then tried to make himself busy, wrangling up a dishtowel so that he could begin wiping up the counter. “Sounds like it was a pain.”

“Understatement,” Kris countered. Junmyeon chuckled softly under his breath, not looking up at all as he cleaned the countertop. “By the way, Junmyeon, I know you mentioned you aren’t a very good cook, so I know this is all pretty new to you. Don’t stress yourself out if you find it’s taking you a while to get better at these things. It takes time to learn and improve.”

“I’ll try my best. I really do owe you anyway,” Junmyeon replied, turning his head and giving Kris a warm smile that made his heart skip a beat. “I’m just glad you gave me a chance and helped me when I needed it the most.”

Kris just offered him a hesitant smile before turning away, trying to ignore his new temporary speedy heartrate.

* * *

“So,” Jongdae began one slow evening. Minseok glanced up from washing dishes, and Junmyeon turned around to stare at him as he was busy frosting some cookies. Jongdae had a rather mischievous grin on his lips. The three of them had become rather close to each other ever since Junmyeon had started working at the café, easily bonding with one another without issue. It made an easygoing atmosphere, but it also created problems. Like right now, how Jongdae was about to tease the hell out of him. “Wanna tell us some details about what had happened earlier?”

Minseok laughed, and Junmyeon’s face looked red enough to burst into flames.

“It was nothing,” Junmyeon whined, turning away from Jongdae so that he could go back to tending to the baked goods. “Seriously. It was an accident.”

It had been a blunder, but when it had happened, it was as if time had stood still.

It had felt like something out of a movie. A cheesy, romantic comedy movie, and Junmyeon was the cute but ditzy leading lady. There had been a spill by the counter, and Junmyeon being Junmyeon, he never even noticed the liquid until he was already slipping in it, reeling backwards as he struggled and failed to maintain his footing.

Luckily for him, Kris had been standing within arm’s reach so that he didn’t fall down. In his blunder, Junmyeon’s hands had shot out and grabbed Kris as fast as he could so that he wouldn’t hit the floor. He was only partially successful, however. He was holding Kris by the shirt, so it kept his torso off the ground, but Junmyeon’s legs had gone out from underneath him completely. His knees were resting against the floor.

So there he was, in the middle of the café, on his knees, clutching handfuls of Kris’ sweater, with his face way too close to Kris’ crotch.

Thankfully, there weren’t many customers, and it didn’t seem like anyone had noticed. However, Minseok and Jongdae definitely had, as they were both standing behind the counter at the time. The two of them had instantly erupted into gut-busting laughter, and the redness on Junmyeon’s face as he hauled himself to his feet only seemed to entertain them further.

Junmyeon could have sworn Kris was blushing as the man helped him up.

“It sure didn’t look like nothing,” Minseok teased, chuckling as he rinsed one of his plates. “Looked pretty risqué to me and I sure didn’t hear any complaining out of you after he helped you up.”

“Your face was pretty red too,” Jongdae added, not helping the situation at all. “But I didn’t see you rushing to get up.”

“Maybe Junmyeon likes it on his knees,” Minseok said in a sing-song voice, cackling along with Jongdae. “And in front of Kris, no less! My, my, Junmyeon, we didn’t know you could be so naughty.”

“It was an accident!” Junmyeon shrieked, face beet red as he stood there arguing with his coworkers. “It didn’t mean anything!”

“Oh, relax, Junmyeon, we’re just teasing you,” Jongdae commented playfully. “Besides, we already know you have a crush on him. It’s not like it’s classified information.”

“I most certainly do _not_ ,” Junmyeon spluttered in embarrassment, the redness in his face cranking up a few notches. “Where did you even come up with such an idea?”

“We didn’t come up with it. It’s pretty obvious. It has been this whole time, even before you started working here,” Jongdae said as he leaned against the counter. “Baek figured it out first, though. I mean, hey, you should see how different you act around Kris, even before you became an employee. It’s like you did a total one-eighty personality wise whenever he was – is – around. You aren’t good at being subtle, Junmyeon.”

Stifling a moan, Junmyeon buried his face into his hands, feeling as if his face was about to burst into flames.

“Why so glum? It’s actually cute,” Minseok teased him, grinning. “You’re already pretty cute in general but when you’re near him you get all flustered. It’s adorable.”

“Don’t call me cute,” Junmyeon whined into his hands. He wanted to disappear so badly. “And the situation isn’t cute. It’s embarrassing.”

“It’s totally cute,” Jongdae argued, he and Minseok still smiling at him. “And I mean, it’s Kris we’re talking about. He’s a good guy. Why are you so shy about this?”

Junmyeon didn’t mean to yell, but he just didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He was so embarrassed he just wanted to crawl into a hole. “Because Kris is my _boss_ , and I like him!”

His voice was so loud that it caused a few diners to turn around and stare at him. Junmyeon’s face was absolutely burning. Jongdae and Minseok were surprised by his outburst, but after a few moments of blinking, their lips curled right back up at the edges in amusement. It didn’t take them long to crowd around Junmyeon, showering him with teasing and playful hair ruffles and patting him on the back.

The trio never noticed the tall figure lingering around the corner.

* * *

Oh, this was bad.

Kris had already figured out that he was harboring too many mushy feelings for Junmyeon. Perhaps not a crush – or perhaps it was, Kris didn’t know – but he knew he was getting far too attached to the boy. Kris was not the best person attuned to his emotions, but he knew well enough that all that rolling in his stomach and rapid pounding of his heart was not because of health problems.

He liked Junmyeon, and apparently, Junmyeon liked him.

Kris hadn’t meant to overhear, but it would have been difficult not to. He had been holed up in his office when he had heard yelling. Minseok and Jongdae bickered every now and again, but Kris had never before heard screaming. Thinking something bad had happened, he had hurried out of his office and had made it almost entirely around the corner when he heard Junmyeon’s voice, rippling with embarrassment and shame.

 _“Because Kris is my_ boss _, and I like him!”_

Kris had never even seen it coming. He was so shocked he had just stood there for a good few minutes, numbly trying to process what had just happened. At long last, he merely turned around and wandered back into his office, unsure of what to even think.

Kris was plenty aware that the feeling was a two-way street, but Kris had not dared to tell Junmyeon how he felt. He wasn’t even supposed to know about Junmyeon’s emotions; the only reason he was aware to begin with was because he had overheard Minseok and Jongdae teasing him nonstop until Junmyeon at last blurted out his confession.

What was he supposed to do now? Kris did not know if it would be a good idea to tell Junmyeon at all that he liked him. Sure, the feeling was mutual, but it would be odd to date a coworker, especially one that he was the boss of. Was it unethical? Was Kris even allowed to date an employee? He had no idea.

For now, he would keep quiet, at least until he figured out the right time to speak up. Now just certainly wasn’t it.

Junmyeon liked it when Kris teased him.

Kris was a playful person. Despite being the boss of three people, Kris was extremely laidback. He viewed the café workers as a team and him as a leader, not him being the boss of everyone else. When the others greeted him with a chorus of ‘good morning, Kris!’ it wasn’t at all uncommon for Kris to reply with a simplistic ‘hey, what’s up’. Unprofessional as it was, Junmyeon found it cute.

Kris had a tendency to space out, losing himself in his daydreams. Junmyeon could always tell when he was mulling over something too hard, because those were the moments where Kris’ eyes glazed over and he began to scowl thoughtfully. It always looked like he was thinking about something very deep and serious, but it never was. Junmyeon had snapped him out of his trances many times and asked Kris what he was thinking about, and it was always the most ridiculous things.

_So how do they make baby carrots anyway? Are they just big carrots cut into small carrots? Or are they hybrids? What businessman thought tiny carrots would be a good idea?_

_So I’ve been thinking about cicadas. How long do you think it was before someone realized that cicadas make noise in the summer? Do you think people thought that trees screamed because they didn’t know about cicadas making all that racket?_

_You know what would be terrifying? If sharks grew legs and could start walking on land. Everyone would die. Bonus points if they grew arms. Not only could they rip us in half with their teeth, but they could also punch us in the face._

Kris was awfully silly and it was almost endearing.

Junmyeon had only been working in the café for two days, but he did not miss retail in the slightest. He missed Chanyeol and Sehun, but other than that, the memories were unpleasant and already beginning to fade. He thankfully managed to gather Sehun and Chanyeol’s contact information before he had quit, so at least he could still keep in touch.

Kris loved to joke around and tease everyone. It was something Junmyeon had never really noticed until he too became an employee, at last managing to leave the world of retail behind. Kris could always be heard cracking a joke behind the counter or making ridiculous noises from his office as he chugged through tax forms and other paperwork. It wasn’t at all uncommon to see him emerging from his office and to instantly fire off a playful jab at someone, as if he had been holding it in all day and just had to let it out. Junmyeon had become the butt of those little harmless jokes several times so far and he had only been an employee for forty-eight hours.

One jab Kris loved to give him was to call him ‘shorty’.

Junmyeon was standing on his tiptoes, trying to reach the bag of sugar. They were out of snickerdoodles, and Junmyeon was going to make another batch, but he needed sugar. Huffing in frustration, he heaved himself up just a little more, fingers barely grazing the edge of the bag.

“What’s the matter, shorty?” There was a figure suddenly pressed up against him from behind, and Junmyeon instantly froze. He knew that baritone voice, and Junmyeon’s face burned red as he realized that Kris was standing behind him, so close that his body was pressed up against Junmyeon’s own. “Can’t reach?”

He could feel the muscles in Kris’ torso tensing as he reached up and grabbed the bag of sugar for him, handing it over to Junmyeon, before walking away like nothing had even happened. Junmyeon’s face was flushed and his heart was absolutely pounding as he clutched the bag of sugar close.

This crush thing was really inconvenient sometimes, huh?

* * *

Junmyeon was cute. Kris had come to accept that fact weeks ago. The boy had charms, and he didn’t even have to try. All he had to do was tilt his head a certain way or give Kris that shy little smile of his or let his eyes open a little wider like he always did when he was confused to make Kris’ insides start flopping all over the place.

Kris was slowly falling for him, and he loved Junmyeon’s laugh the most.

It had felt like a reward the first time he ever gotten to hear Junmyeon laugh. Kris could remember how miserable Junmyeon had looked when he had initially started coming to the café, bogged down by the troubles in his life. But as they, one by one, went away, Junmyeon’s personality, and the light inside of him, began to peek through the cracks. He slowly began to smile more. He slowly opened up. And Kris adored every bit of it, loving how Junmyeon began to evolve into something more than just some body filled with sadness and worries.

Junmyeon was laughing right then and there, standing behind the counter and washing dishes. Kris beamed instantly in response, his belly feeling warmer, his lucky pen that he used to do taxes tucked behind his ear. Junmyeon was laughing and Kris loved it.

“You’re so funny,” Junmyeon praised, and Kris glowed at that. “How do you come up with this stuff?”

Kris didn’t know, but he did know that he loved to tell jokes around Junmyeon. Junmyeon always laughed at his jokes, and Kris loved Junmyeon’s laugh. It was the perfect combination, and Kris just wanted, more than anything, to tell him how much he loved it.

And better yet, he wanted to tell Junmyeon how much he liked him.

* * *

Going grocery shopping together was always horribly and unnecessarily stressful. Since the two of them were roommates, it was not at all uncommon to see the two of them going to the store together. They would each pick out foods that they wanted and would discuss a few dishes that they could make. Junmyeon always chipped in and helped pay for the groceries, even though Kris told him it wasn’t necessary. But considering Junmyeon was getting to stay with Kris rent-free, he knew he needed to pull his weight somehow.

Even though the two of them got along perfectly overall, grocery shopping was always enough to rip into the peace, because they could never agree on anything.

“Why are you jumping down my throat so much today?” Kris asked sourly as he tossed an assortment of cans into their shopping cart. “If I want to buy something, then I’m going to buy it.”

“It’s the same thing! Just get the cheaper brand,” Junmyeon nagged, standing beside him with his lips pursed together in a judgmental fashion. “You’d save some money if you get a different brand.”

Kris was trying to bite his tongue. He knew that Junmyeon had this mindset because he had been so poor and could only afford the cheapest things. But Kris had a bit of money cushioning his bank account and could afford to buy little more expensive products. He understood the situation, but that didn’t mean he liked it.

“Junmyeon, it’s my money,” Kris said with an irritated sigh. “If I wanna blow my money on specific brands, then just let me. So don’t nag me.”

“I’ll nag you if I want to,” Junmyeon argued stubbornly, and that was when Kris just couldn’t hold back any longer.

“What, do you _like_ nagging me?” Kris asked then, swiveling on his heel to stare at Junmyeon from underneath two furry eyebrows. “What are you trying to be here? My wife?”

A thick and awkward silence fell instantly between the two of them. It dawned on Kris after a moment, realizing what he had just said, and his tongue suddenly didn’t want to work anymore. Why did he say that? Why why why—

It didn’t help that Junmyeon had turned a rather interesting shade of red and had his face screwed up in a mixture of embarrassment and amusement.

“You _wish_ I was your wife,” Junmyeon snapped back at him. “If I was your wife I’d have you whipped into much better shape than this.”

Something tingly surged down the base of Kris’ spine and he felt a heat crawling up the back of his neck.

Kris let out a forced cough, trying to ignore the goosebumps ripping across his skin. “Junmyeon—Look, that came out wrong. I’m just frustrated.”

Yeah, definitely frustrated in more ways than one.

“If you want me to treat you like I’m your wife, then I will,” Junmyeon grumbled. He turned and stepped back toward the end of the aisle. “Tell you what, _honey._ I’ll go get the eggs. Be a good boy and wait for me.”

Well, he could tell he pissed Junmyeon off. Obviously the boy hadn’t liked that ‘wife’ comment one bit. And even when he stomped away, leaving Kris alone on the aisle, Kris couldn’t shake the heat brewing in his belly.

* * *

Since they were roommates, the two of them had shared some unflattering moments. There were mishaps, but the two of them managed to laugh them off, and their budding relationship definitely helped with that. But of course, some things that happened between them were a little more awkward. And although neither one of them spoke about it, there was sexual tension slowly filling up the air of the apartment.

Junmyeon’s replies to that ‘wife’ comment at the grocery store only two hours ago definitely did not help. Kris could not shake the sensation of his skin prickling once Junmyeon snarled those words at him about him wishing that Junmyeon was his wife, dropping seemingly meaningless comments that still made Kris’ flesh burn, able to still hear Junmyeon hissing out the words _good boy_ in the back of his mind.

It was hard to swallow whenever he thought back on it.

They were both men, so changing in front of each other should not have been so awkward. But it was, and both of them picked up on it. Junmyeon’s cheeks always flushed whenever Kris stripped to change clothes. And although Kris was not the type to blush, he was the type to stare, and he struggled badly not to make it obvious that he was studying Junmyeon’s body when the younger male shuffled around their home in just his underwear to change his clothes as well.

Kris showered at night, and so did Junmyeon. He always let Junmyeon have the shower first. After all, it meant the water would already be warmed up for him. Plus, he got to see little snippets of Junmyeon’s creamy skin being slick and wet from remaining water. That was always a fun sight to see. Sometimes, if he was being honest, Kris daydreamed about that sight when he showered, filthy as it was.

“I know you said before that you’ve only done retail,” Kris commented as they sat at their small dining room table, sharing a meal together like they did every night. Kris had cooked for them tonight. Trying to shake the awkward atmosphere, Kris had started talking about their work, but he was having a hard time ignoring the sensations of heat trailing down his back. “But you’re learning really fast.”

“Uh-uh. Retail is about all I know,” Junmyeon admitted, before his cheeks suddenly burned red. “Well, if my initial plans had gone through, then I would have gotten a different job, back before you let me stay with you.”

“A job doing what?” Kris asked, arching an eyebrow curiously at Junmyeon’s reddened face.

“I can’t tell you,” Junmyeon mumbled shyly.

“Oh come on, don’t be like that. You brought it up and now you’re gonna leave me hanging? That isn’t fair,” Kris whined, leaning back and making a small tutting noise. “Come on, you can trust me.”

“You can’t tell anyone,” Junmyeon said quickly, face still painted with color.

“I won’t,” Kris replied honestly. “I know I can be a bit of a chatterbox but I promise I won’t say anything if you don’t want me to. I’m sure it’s not that embarrassing anyway.”

“Considering that I was thinking about sleeping with random people to support myself, yes,” Junmyeon argued, his face beet red as the news came spilling right out, “it is embarrassing. I never went through with it, but I came pretty damn close.”

Kris was silent for a long moment, merely blinking several times in a row as he tried to wrap his mind around the bombshell Junmyeon had just dropped. When it finally sunk in, all Kris said in response was a simplistic ‘I see’. He quickly shoved his plate away.

“What’s wrong?” Junmyeon asked worriedly. “Did I upset you?”

“No, no. I just need to shower,” Kris said in the most reassuring voice he could muster. “I was supposed to take one earlier but it slipped my mind. I’ll be right back.”

Junmyeon cast him a worried glance as he watched him go, and Kris was so thankful that his clothes were baggy so Junmyeon couldn’t see the bulge in his pants.

Kris nearly slammed the bathroom door behind him and locked it, swooping over to the tub and already turning on the water. Waiting for it to warm was torturous. Kris stripped himself down as fast as he could, nearly dive-bombing into the shower when he deemed it hot enough.

Kris could not remember a time he had gotten stiff that fast, and even now, as he stood there under the stream of the shower, his cock was hard.

Junmyeon may have been embarrassed about it, Kris thought absently as he reached his hand down between his legs, but it turned Kris on immensely to think of such a thing. Junmyeon, sweet, innocent, cute little Junmyeon, had actually debated on selling his body to the sex industry.

 _Fuck_ , it was so damn hot in Kris’ eyes, that merely imagining it made his cock swollen. It certainly didn’t help that he couldn’t forget what Junmyeon said to him out in public like that, unamused eyes boring through him as Junmyeon asked if he could be a good boy, or if he wanted Junmyeon to give him a punishment just like his wife would. He had tried so hard to forget, but he couldn’t, he just couldn’t get it out of his mind.

His dick jerked in his grip almost on reflex.

Kris’ lips parted as a deep moan tore from the depths of his throat. Tipping his head backwards, letting the hot water of the shower wash over his skin, Kris squeezed his hand around his cock. He couldn’t help but think about how Junmyeon was only two rooms away from him, innocently curled up with his food and probably watching television as Kris showered and began to jerk himself off. If he didn’t keep it down, Junmyeon was going to hear every bit of it, and that made a tingle of excitement race down Kris’ spine.

Breathing labored, Kris closed his eyes as he stroked himself, base to tip in a rough movement. His dick was already painfully hard in his grip, twitching eagerly as Kris smoothed his thumb over the head. The mere thought of Junmyeon’s potential future made him disgustingly horny; to know that Junmyeon had even _considered_ selling his body to the sex industry made his cock stiffen. There was confidence and pride hiding underneath all that innocence and cuteness and it made his blood _boil._

And now that he knew, Kris couldn’t stop his mind from wandering. If Junmyeon had considered selling himself off for sex, what other dirty secrets were hidden inside of him? The possibilities were endless and combing through them in his mind, Kris’ hand jerked, tugging roughly on his dick as he groaned underneath the spray of the showerhead.

He couldn’t stop himself from letting his imagination race. Junmyeon was wildly attractive as it was, but the thought of him being wrapped up in sexual activities, and picturing _himself_ being the one to give it to him, well, that made Kris even harder. He was breathing loudly as he fisted his cock that much tighter, using the precum oozing free from the tip as a makeshift lubricant as he jerked his hand almost violently up and down, desperate to get himself off.

He imagined shoving Junmyeon down into the bed, listening to the boy whine and whimper and scream his name as Kris pounded him senseless. He imagined yanking Junmyeon’s head back by his hair, watching his mouth stretch wide around his cock as he obediently sucked on it. He imagined Junmyeon riding him, his lips parted as he moaned Kris’ name like a mantra, hickeys decorating his neck and shoulders, dick bobbing as he rocked himself back and forth.

He could _hear_ Junmyeon moaning his name, gargled whimpers of _more more **more** —! _and Kris’ muscles tensed, mouth hanging open in a breathless gasp. One hand still a blur on his cock as he pumped himself wildly, Kris’ free hand went lower, large fingers dipping between his legs to grab at his balls and—

It was the mental image of Junmyeon cumming, perched on top of him, moaning and gasping as globs of white squirted all over his stomach as he shrieked out Kris’ name and told him how good he really was, that sent Kris tumbling over the edge.

With a pathetic mesh of gasps and breathless moans, Kris’ back arched, hand squeezed tight around himself as every muscle he had went taut as a piano wire. Orgasm struck him violently, so brutal that Kris couldn’t breathe, just panting and wheezing as he came. Eyes screwed shut, his dick was twitching in his hand, ribbons of white dripping onto his fingers and splattering both against the wall of his shower and all over the floor. Kris’ hips jerked pathetically and his knees were shaking violently beneath him. Moaning weakly, Kris continued to roll his hips, cracking his eyes open to watch pearls of cum dribble over the head of his cock, before at long last, he was empty.

Exhausted, Kris slowly but surely released himself, his head bowing as he let the flow of the shower run over him. The water was growing cold. Kris could see how the length between his legs was still partially hard after he had just came, slowly but surely softening. But with Junmyeon living with him, and knowing the boy’s deep and dirty secrets, Kris wasn’t sure how long his cock would stay neither soft nor neglected at this point.

And he didn’t know how much longer he would be able to control himself. He had to do something about this before it got any worse. He wanted Junmyeon so badly that he could barely stand it.

* * *

“I hate valentine’s day,” Kris drawled as he sank into the couch cushions, working on downing yet another glass of wine. Junmyeon had one glass and called it quits for the night, but there Kris was, downing the sweet red liquid like a man dying from thirst in the desert. “I tell you what; it’s just a gimmick for corporations to make more money of the population.”

“What’s gotten into you, mister negative?” Junmyeon asked, arching his eyebrows as he glanced over at Kris. The two of them were watching a movie as they sat together on the sofa. The wine had been a small present from Minseok; he sheepishly mentioned that someone had given it to him as a gift, but he didn’t like the taste of red wine, and thought the two of them could get some good use out of it. Junmyeon was not a heavy drinker in the slightest, but it seemed like Kris had gladly taken over the reigns. “What’s wrong with valentine’s day? You get discounted chocolate the next day.”

“It’s dumb,” Kris grumbled, resting his sock-clad feet on the coffee table as he downed the rest of his wine in one huge gulp. Junmyeon wasn’t sure if he should be worried or impressed by that. “You shouldn’t buy things for your significant other on just one day of the year to show you love them. You should try to do that all the time.”

“Well, that’s a good point, but it doesn’t make it dumb. Some people get really into it,” Junmyeon told him, unable to help but grin. “Are you grumpy because you’ve never had a valentine?”

“No, never, but I don’t even care,” Kris grumbled, proving to Junmyeon right then and there that he actually did care quite a bit. Kris was pouring himself more wine and collapsed back into his spot on the couch, already gluing his mouth back to the rim of his glass. “It’s dumb and I don’t even care.”

“Oh, come on. I’m sure you’ve wanted a valentine before,” Junmyeon said playfully, reaching over and giving the older man a small shove. “You had to have liked someone enough to make them want to be your valentine, right?”

“Not really.” Kris tipped his head back and swallowed down more of his wine. “I mean, there’s you, but I don’t know if that counts.”

Junmyeon blinked in shock. He hadn’t thought Kris had enough yet to be drunk, but he was obviously pretty tipsy if the filter to his mouth had dissolved that much. And it floored Junmyeon entirely. Kris liked him? Since when? How much? His mind was completely spinning and he knew it wasn’t from the alcohol. His heart was suddenly hammering in his chest, but he didn’t dare question what Kris had just said. He knew Kris wasn’t so sloshed that he wouldn’t be aware of what he had said; if Junmyeon asked, he knew Kris was going to deny it, that he hadn’t meant it.

Kris liked him and even though Kris was drinking way too fast on the couch beside him, Junmyeon hadn’t felt happier in a long time.

* * *

Every chunk of physical contact was just too much. Working in an environment where one had to move around, it meant occasionally bumping into other people. There had been many times where Junmyeon had accidentally ran into Minseok or Jongdae during their busy days when they were all too preoccupied to watch where they were going. They would always give each other a quick apology and continue on their way.

It was different whenever he touched Kris.

With winter slowly fading, and spring on its way, Kris had introduced some new items onto the menu for the season. Since Minseok and Jongdae had more experience than him, they picked it up much faster than Junmyeon did. Junmyeon was honestly struggling, and while he appreciated Kris’ help, Junmyeon felt like he was suffocating underneath the heavy air that surrounded them.

Kris was too close and too touchy and yet it wasn’t enough.

“You need more milk,” Kris said quietly. The man was standing so close to him that Junmyeon could feel the material of his sweatshirt brushing against his back. “And more vanilla.”

Junmyeon was sweating. Kris leaned over to grab the measuring cup and his hip pressed against Junmyeon’s own in the process. His heart was absolutely racing in his chest.

“Here, this is how much milk you need. I know it’s hard for you to tell right now how much is enough, so just pour it into a measuring cup first if you need to,” Kris told him, eyes focused as he tinkered around the kitchen. “You can usually eyeball it once you improve.”

Nodding, Junmyeon went back to work on remaking his drink. He heard a few footsteps to show that Kris had moved away from him, occupying his free time by doing another task while he waited on Junmyeon. Junmyeon was just thankful that the man wasn’t hovering over him and watching him like a hawk. With how shaky he was already, he knew that under Kris’ watch, he’d wind up spilling something and embarrassing himself.

“Kris,” Junmyeon started, deaf to Kris’ feet moving across the floor. “Can you try this? I think I got it this time—“

Junmyeon froze as a sudden weight pressed up against him. Kris’ hips were pressed up against his own and he felt the man’s chest rest against his back as Kris literally leaned over him to take a look. Junmyeon was sure the man could hear his heart pounding.

Kris took an experimental sip, and while Junmyeon was expecting feedback, he wasn’t ready for Kris’ calm voice to ghost over his skin. With Kris standing right behind him, the man’s breath brushed against his neck and ear as he spoke up.

“Delicious,” Kris praised him, and Junmyeon wasn’t sure why his knees suddenly felt so weak. “Good job, Junmyeon. You’re learning well.”

“Thank you,” Junmyeon replied weakly, legs shaking like jelly underneath him. When did it suddenly become so warm? “I’m trying my best.”

“I can see that,” Kris told him, slowly but surely peeling himself off of Junmyeon and sidestepping to give him some breathing room. “And you’re succeeding.”

Even when Kris’ body heat left him, Junmyeon’s frame was still burning up. He tried to distract himself. He couldn’t let himself fall into this any deeper than he already was. He had to focus. He had work to do. And letting his body and heart and brain turn to mush over Kris was not going to help matters any.

He needed to learn this recipe. Sighing, Junmyeon tried to clear his head, to rid himself of the sensation of Kris pressed against him, and picked up the piece of paper Kris had left for him with the recipe written upon it. Kris had written it down himself, having the recipe memorized, and Junmyeon had tried not to laugh at how poor the man’s handwriting was. But as he stared, Junmyeon couldn’t help but notice something.

He recognized this handwriting.

Junmyeon glanced up, startled, to stare at Kris. Kris, who was standing at the register and talking with a young couple, with that charming smile on his face. Kris, with his messy handwriting. Kris, who had been the one to write on a simplistic white cup of hot cocoa and leave it on his table while he had been sleeping. Kris, who had signed the cup as ‘Yifan’.

The world suddenly came crashing down.

* * *

“Who are you?”

Kris paused in his journey to the bathroom. Junmyeon had showered first as always and was busy getting dressed when he spoke. Kris was halfway to the bathroom at that point, about to clamber into the tub next so he could shower, but he was stopped by Junmyeon’s sudden words.

The two had barely spoken to one another all day. Their relationship as a whole was rather strained suddenly. Things had changed little by little, the two of them both harboring too many emotions that were too pent-up for it to be healthy. The tension between them was getting unbearable. And as they continuously began to touch once another, even accidentally, especially at work, the dominos continued to collapse around them.

This was the first time Junmyeon had spoken to him since dinner, and such a question did not at all relate to their previous discussion about fried foods.

“What?” Kris asked, standing in the doorway. He was trying not to stare. Junmyeon was only partially dressed, clad in one of Kris’ old nightshirts and his underwear. Junmyeon had such thick, flawless thighs and nice legs and Kris wondered how they would feel wrapped around him. “What are you talking about?”

“Who are you really?” Junmyeon asked, the pitch of his voice strained. Something was obviously bothering him, and abandoning his pair of pajama pants, Junmyeon drew nearer to him. “Kris? Or Yifan?”

Kris blinked, a startled look in his eyes. “Where is this even coming from?”

“Your handwriting matched the handwriting I had on my cup last winter. My cup of cocoa on the table someone left me when I was sleeping. I didn’t know who it was from. I didn’t know who ‘Yifan’ was, but apparently, it’s you.” Junmyeon didn’t seem angry, only worried. His eyebrows were upturned. Kris couldn’t help but stiffen as Junmyeon laid a hand on his arm. “Who are you really?”

“Junmyeon—Junmyeon, listen, if you think I’ve been lying about my identity, you’ve got it all wrong. Kris has been my nickname for years. Everyone and their brother calls me Kris. My real name is Yifan, yes, but I go by Kris,” he explained slowly. The corner of his mouth pulled in amusement. He was forcing himself to keep his eyes trained on Junmyeon’s face, not those nice legs. “I never thought you would figure that out, and I didn’t really want you to. I came out of my office and you were fast asleep. I wasn’t sure what was going on with you, but I could tell something was wrong. So I just gave you the hot chocolate and hoped for the best.”

“Why did you sign it as Yifan?” Junmyeon asked slowly, frowning up at the larger man. He was still clutching Kris by the forearm.

“I didn’t want to sign it as Kris because, again, that’s how everyone knows me. And I didn’t know you. I’ve met some weird people in my lifetime, especially since I work with the public. What would I have done if you went parading around, especially on social media, bragging you got a free drink from me without doing a thing?” Kris asked, pursing his lips. “People would feel cheated and would be unhappy with me. I wanted to do something nice for you, but that doesn’t mean the entire world needed to know.”

Junmyeon’s face softened. “But why?”

“Even the smallest gifts can change a person’s life around sometimes.” Kris was quiet for a long moment, debating something mentally before he at last sighed. “I guess in a way you’ve given me something too, even if we don’t talk about it.”

“Like what?” Junmyeon murmured.

“Excitement,” Kris breathed. “I haven’t felt this good since I met you. I haven’t liked anyone as much as I like you. And getting to see you, well… Getting to be near you… Being able to touch you, little as it is—“

Junmyeon felt like he was choking on a knot in his throat. His skin was suddenly on fire. Kris liked him. Kris liked him and he liked Kris and he was panicking and shaking and he was going to be sick. His voice was hoarse as he stared up at Kris with wide eyes. “You like to touch me?”

“I love to touch you. I wish I could touch you so much more. Wish I could touch every bit of you,” Kris rumbled, his hands wandering. Junmyeon’s face was red, able to see how Kris lowered his gaze, staring at his bare legs as his hands gripped him by the hips. “Wish I could just run my hands all over you and show you how much I like you.”

“Kris—“ Heat clawed up Junmyeon’s spine and he shuddered underneath Kris’ touch, legs quivering. He was desperately clinging onto Kris’ arm, as if letting go would make the man vanish entirely. He gulped, neck bobbing as if a knot was expanding within it. “Kris, I…”

“Use your words,” Kris borderline snarled, craning his head down. “Tell me that you like me. I already told you to your face. I know you like me. Tell me how much you secretly want me.”

Junmyeon inhaled sharply, feeling a telltale twitch between his legs.

“I think I’ve given you a lot of gifts so far, and I could give you so many more if you would just let me,” Kris promised, “and they’d be so much better than hot chocolate.”

Was Kris hinting at what Junmyeon thought he was hinting at? Junmyeon swallowed, trembling excitedly in Kris’ grip. His voice was hoarse. “What kind of gifts?”

“I could give you the smallest one first,” Kris whispered, suddenly dragging Junmyeon closer to him. “Especially because I don’t think you deserve anything big from teasing me with those thighs.”

Kris kissed him, and it was one of the most brutal kisses of his life. Kris kissed him with no mercy, and from there, months of sexual tension and pent-up romance began to spill over the edges. Junmyeon was already gasping pathetically for air as Kris crushed their lips together, threading his fingers through Kris’ hair and whining into the man’s mouth when Kris forced his tongue past his lips, tasting him, claiming him, and Junmyeon just closed his eyes and let himself fall.

Even when blood dripped over his lip from too many rough kisses and the teasing nips of Kris’ teeth, even when Kris jammed his knee between his legs, even when Kris began to tear his clothes off and yank him back into the shower with a look of pure hunger in his eyes, Junmyeon did not care.

This was only the beginning, and Junmyeon could already tell that this was going to be much better than his last relationship.


End file.
